A Journey Comes to an End

I sit here reflecting over 2011 with so many mixed emotions. In some ways this year has gone so fast; in others, it has seemed almost unending. God has blessed us tremendously and He has been by our side through many ups and downs, twists and turns. I would be lying if I said that we haven't had some times when we felt all alone and times we felt we couldn't continue; however, through His love, support, and guidance, as well as the encouragement and support of family and friends, we have conquered this last year, and we rise up victorious.

Through some of my reading and studying, I'm reminded of some lessons learned and promises made to us by God. Five exceedingly great and precious promises are as follows:

1. God is ALWAYS with Me. (I will NOTfear!)
2. God is ALWAYS in Control. (I will NOT doubt!)
3. God is ALWAYS Good. (I will NOT despair!)
4. God is ALWAYS Watching. (I will NOT falter!)
5. God is ALWAYS Victorious (I will NOT fail!)

Lord, Jesus Christ, come and live Your life through me. Let my life be a semonstration of the living presence of Christ. Forgive me for trying to live my life in my own strength. Help me as I embrace these promises by faith. Thank You, God, that You are with me in this as I seek to live for You and to honor You and to bring You glory. Thank You that You are ALWAYS with me.

In James MacDonald's book Always True, he says, "Today I believe; tomorrow (or at some point in the future) I receive. The distance between today and tomorrow is called walking by faith. The hard part is in the waiting between the promise and the answer; and even harder, when the waiting comes with more hardship or even setbacks. While we wait, God gives us His promises to hold on to."

MacDonald goes on to say, God's promises are not just great; they're exceedingly great--greater than anything else:

• God's promises are greater than human wisdom.
• God's promises are greater than white-knuckled obedience.
• God's promises are greater than wallowing in self-pity.

God's exceedingly great and precious promises are your best possession:

• There's nothing remotely like them.
• They will lead you through the darkest night.
• They will carry you through the longest day.
• They will accompany you through the deepest valley.

I close this year with a heavy heart for those who I know need God's touch on their lives whether physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, financially, etc. I also close this year feeling very blessed and undeserving of the blessings that God has bestowed on me and my family. It feels good to close the book on 2011, and I anticipate the amazing things that God is going to do in 2012. Now to finish off this year with two of my favorite people, Ronny and Ashley. I thank God daily for the two blessings in my life with my Godly husband and Godly daughter. They have been my strength this last year. Good night and Good bye to 2011!

Finding Jesus In Christmas

When you think about Christmas, what comes to mind? Is it vacation time? A break from teaching, students, classes, etc.? Buying presents? Cooking all of that food? Entertaining guests? Practicing for the school or church program? Looking at lights? or racing with crowds of people to get the latest and greatest popular toy, movie or video game?

I think many times we forget what Christmas is really about! We forget that without Christ there would be NO Christmas. Santa, lights, and presents are not what Christmas is all about. These things add fun and wonder about the season, but without Christ we there would be no reason to celebrate! In fact, to take it further, if we don't think about the Cross, then the manger is just meaningless. Jesus was born in the shadow of the Cross so that we might have eternal life!

It is fun to give gifts, to honor those that we love, but do not forget to honor the One who gave His life for each and everyone of us! God gave his Son to us, knowing that while He was that precious baby boy being held in His mothers arms, He would one day stretch those same arms out on a cross and carry the weight of the sins of the world.

Take time this season to sit with your family and reflect on the greatness of our saviour! Reflect on the blessings He has given to you this last year, and how he has provided for your every need! Don't let Him get lost in all of the wrappings, food, festivities, etc. Find Jesus in Christmas this year!

Lessons Learned

"The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination."

                                                                       ~Don Williams, Jr.

As a teacher, I teach my students in a wide variety of ways in order to reach out to their specific way of learning. I use modeling, hands-on, projects, one-on-one teaching/conferencing, small strategy group teaching, inquiry, and the list goes on. Sometimes my teaching is very straight and to the point; however sometimes, I want my students to use his/her own discovery to learn a concept.

As we continue life, we never stop learning. When we embark on our journey of life, many lessons are presented. It is our choice to choose to learn or not. Sometimes the road is beautiful, smooth, and easy to navigate, while other times that road is rough and bumpy, narrow, and difficult to see what is coming ahead.

The road can take us through steep mountains, where it seems as we are on top of the world and can accomplish anything, while other roads take us through valleys. These valleys can seem almost overwhelming at times; as you will never come up out of them. Sometimes these valleys are surrounded by different terrains: dry and dead, like the desert, or maybe plush greenery surrounded by flowing rivers and streams.

Many questions are before us: Where are we going? What obstacles or detours will arise? Will there be a short cut? What happens if we get lost along the way? Should we use our GPS or map? The list goes on. I believe this road I have have been traveling for the last year and a half has included all of the above, with many of those questions and more.

I have used this spring and summer to reflect over my life and the last year or so, with the many trials, disappointments, struggles, etc. that have come along my travels. While in the middle of these trials, it has seemed as though the valley was a dry one, with no life in sight.

I realized through these times, and they still come, God gives us many promises. One that stands out strong to me is:

"The Lord will always lead you. He will satisfy your needs in dry lands and give strength to your bones. You will be like a garden that has much water, like a spring that never runs dry." ~Isaiah 58:11

One of the biggest lessons learned is that Lisa is NOT in control of any situation--GOD IS IN CONTROL! He has allowed these trials for a purpose of teaching and molding me into that person He wants me to be. I think this is one of the hardest lessons learned, and He is continually allowing me to go through things to remind me, He is in the driver's seat. You see, I do need a map or a GPS, that is God. If I don't trust in Him completely for every aspect of my life, I'll end up in a place where I don't know where to go or how I got there.

This lesson seems so simple, but yet I seem to complicate it all the time with my strong independence! I can almost hear myself, "I can do it! Don't tell me I can't! Just leave me alone, I'll get it done!"

He tells us in Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." It's that simple, yet we try to tackle situations on our own, and find ourselves in the twists and turns of life and wondering why we are off course.

Another lesson learned is to rest! Matthew 11:28 says, "Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest." I'm used to a fast paced life, full of busy schedules and deadlines, yet, He says to rest! I have learned it is ok to let the laundry or dishes sit for awhile. It is ok to take a nap. It is ok to sit and enjoy the creation He has given to us. I have found myself taking time to enjoy the simple things in life He has given me. This summer I have taken in the beautiful sunsets He has painted for me. I have enjoyed watching the flowers bloom, the rain fall, His people interact with one another (people watching is quite fun!), the waves of the ocean roll in, and so much more. We forget to take the time to just rest!

I must of have been a difficult student, because He had so many things to teach me. I have also learned to prioritize! God is first and foremost in my life, over and above everything! I must take time to study His word and converse with Him. Next, He has blessed me with a family. This family needs me to take care of them, fellowship with them, laugh and cry with them. I cannot put them on the back burner! Next, God has a calling on my life. You see, I am a missionary. He has given me a mission to reach out to children in the Van Buren area. I do this by teaching them to the best of my ability, not only math, science, social studies, reading and writing, but how to have manners, how to love, how to respect, how to have joy, etc. He has also called me to use my talents to worship. He has blessed our church with an amazing praise team, and He has given us talents to sing and play instruments and more importantly to teach and lead our congregation into corporate and individual worship!

As He continues to teach me lessons, I will share more. I felt that these were some of the most important lessons I have learned while faced with many detours in my life travels in this last year.

So where do we go from here? Where will our life's journey take us? God knows the plan for our lives, we must allow Him to be our guide. Let Him have complete control. I can truly say that I'm not scared of what lies ahead. Not anymore. I'm ready to face the detours, curves, the rough spots, whatever, as long as He is guiding my life!

Father, thank you for being my guide. I'm sorry for the times that I try to tackle life on my own, because I can't do it! Thank you for your promises that you will guide my paths, that you will give me strength, and you have a plan to prosper my life! Whatever comes my way, I know that I can hit it head on with you in my driver's seat. Thank you for allowing me to go through the things that I have endured this last year, because I have learned so much! Keep teaching and molding me into what you would have me to be! ~Amen









Turning Points

This has been a turning point week for me! I was able to sleep longer nights, thus building my strength. I remember asking Ronny about a week ago, "Am I ever going to feel good again?" Well, this week I had several amazing days in a row. I had strength, no pain anywhere, and was able to get around and do some things I enjoy doing! I played piano and sang on the praise and worship team this morning for the first time in 6 weeks!! I so enjoyed being back with our praise team!!!

UPDATE:
I returned to the eye doctor on Thursday. He took pictures of my eyes, and said that the blood flow was worse than he thought. There is almost no blood flow to my left eye. He also said the bad blood vessels that he feared, had began growing. He was able to do laser surgery in his office to stop this growth. He is watching me closely and will see me back in a couple of weeks to check again. He feels very confident that he is getting on this quickly. That appointment was a little disappointing, because the news was very permanent about the blindness in my left eye. However, we are NOT loosing faith--our God is bigger than this. If He chooses to return my sight, He will!! No diagnosis or doctor's words can change what God is able to do. Once again, I know that He is working on me and teaching me lessons. That same lesson over and over: releasing that independence and learning to depend on Him for everything.

We also went to the surgeon for a follow-up visit on Friday. All went well. He's watching one place on my incision that is not healing correctly. I return in two weeks, and he can clean it up and fix with a few stitches!! I can also blow my nose, cough, and sneeze now!! Woo Hoo!! He also said I could return to teaching in a couple of weeks for 1/2 days and could attend 4th grade camp at the end of May!! Great news for all of those things!!

Along with turning points, also can come some uneasiness and/or questions! As Ronny and I sat for 4 1/2 hours in the neurosurgeon's office, I realized this is not like most Dr.'s offices. This is not usually a place of good news and joy. We saw a young, beautiful teenage girl walk out with her family, after a long visit with the doctor . The young lady and her mother had obviously been crying, lots. Another middle aged lady also came through the doors, crying, making her way quickly to the exit. My thoughts went to two people I know of in the last 2 years that have had dealings with brain cancer and lost their battles here on earth and have made their new homes in Heaven, where they are ultimately healed!! One was a beautiful teenage girl, who has an amazing family and extended family!! The other lady, the same age and name as me, was a children's pastor at my parent's church. She was serving God by giving back to others and carrying out the Great Commission!!  I then returned Friday night and attended a women's conference here in town on Saturday. It was great fellowshipping, worshipping, learning, and rejuvenating together. One of my conferences was led by a former student's grandmother, Nina! She shared her testimony, which was awesome! She shared about her health issue and even losing vision somewhat in her eye. She was very encouragin. She also mentioned losing her granddaughter, Hannah; again, my thoughts went to her fight with brain cancer.

This brings me to the uneasiness & questions. I don't understand why some people, as in my situation, are given another opportunity at life, to continue in ministry, and their calling; while some who are just babies, who haven't even lived a full life, are taken so quickly. Or what about those who are living out their purpose, and in a blink of an eye, are taken away from their family, friends, and children's ministry. I ask why, not in a hateful, selfish kind of way, but almost in a guilty kind of way. Why am I given that chance that they weren't? Why is that my family is celebrating something that these families never got to see? When talking with those family members who have lost their loved ones, I even feel almost uncomfortable or guilty praising God for my situation or talking about the good things that God has done for us through this situation because I know they have those same questions. They have a sadness that their time was cut so short.

I think again, I'm learning that God does give us second chances (sometimes 3rd, 4th, 5th,etc.). I know that His time of returning is close. I must live my life with an urgency that I must reach out to anyone I can! I need to share God's goodness, His faithfulness, and most of all the Grace that He pours on us! I need to work to encourage others going through difficult times. It may not be a brain tumor. It might be financial hardship, marriage problems, wayward children, troubled relationships, health problems, a loss of a loved one, etc. I need to share His unconditional love, and how He has worked miracles in my life and is continuing to grow me. I need to share of that Heaven that is promised to us if we just reach out and ask Him for His salvation. Acts 13:15 says, "If you have a message of encouragement for the people, please speak." That almost sounds like a plea to me. I can't keep it inside, I must share so that others can be encouraged. My prayer is that lives can be touched through the turmoil He is bringing us through. It's a constant climb, with many steps that knock us backward, but He is with us every step of the way--guiding our steps, carrying us when necessary, even pulling and pushing us at times. I want to be used to help further this kingdom.

We have a lot of work to do so that we can reach that final prize, where the Hannah's, Lisa's, and others are waiting for us at that great finish line!!! We can't stop now; we can't give up; we must keep persevering for that which lies ahead!

Lisa

"I will give you back your health and heal your wounds, says the Lord."
                                       ~Jeremiah 30:17a

      Wow, how quickly life can change. Just in an instant, everything we once knew to be everyday, and easy for us, can be gone or changed in a heartbeat! In Don Piper's book, 90 Minutes in Heaven, he says, "Some things happen to us from which we never recover, and they disrupt the normalcy of our lives." That is so true. I think we take for granted that we have our health, careers, our homes, our families, and all of the things we have accumulated over the years. Then in an instant any one of those things can just be gone.

      I think, more than anything, I have learned in the last year, that we must live in a way that we show love and appreciation to those people who are precious to us, be grateful for the things (careers, material possessions, etc.) that have been entrusted to us, and thank God daily for His grace that has been poured out on us for our salvation and health. When He sent His son to this Earth, it was for one ultimate purpose, to save us from our sins. His son also suffered tremendously for us. His body was bruised and broken so that we might be healed. Isaiah 53:5 says, "But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed."

     As I came out of surgery 3 weeks ago, I remember Dr. Krisht shinning a bright light in my right eye and then wiggling his fingers. I saw that perfectly. Then as he moved to my left eye, I saw nothing. It was then that all kinds of tests were being ran (even yesterday, I returned to Little Rock for more testing). I remember that night thinking, it's swelling, it will return. The next morning as he sat and talked with us, I could tell that this was probably going to be a permanent thing. As I sat crying with Ronny, I said, "but I'm a teacher, I teach reading and writing, I love to read, and I play the piano, how can I do these things and not see?!" During these last 3 weeks I have learned that things are different with one eye. My eyesight was something I took for granted, something I always thought would be there. It is uncomfortable and scary going out into a world that seems so big now. Things seem so big, yet some seem so small and far away. The normalcy of my life was disrupted with this eyesight issue, whether temporary or permanent, that is up to God. I truly believe He is bigger than this and He is still in the business of performing miracles. Some of my fears have already gone away: I have already read 4 books, and are simultaneously working on 5, 6, & 7. (I can't wait to tell my students--no excuses! We can read!) I can play piano, not as much by ear as I wish, but I can still read the music!!

The next disruption of normalcy is brain surgery. For a person who is on the go all the time, whether in working or in fun, life has somewhat smacked me down. When I was healthy, I could jump in the car and run whenever I chose. I could be a teacher, a pastor's wife, a college mom, a daughter, aunt, sister, friend, and a graduate student all at the same time. I'm now realizing that life has changed, and I know only for a season, but a hard thing to accept. As Don Piper also says in his book, "I had to adjust and accept my physical limits as part of my new normal." I know for healing purposes, the rest is a huge thing. Some of the smallest of tasks are overwhelming and exhausting. Again, even making the trek into public is somewhat overwhelming, it seems as though a big flashing marquee is above my head saying: "BRAIN TUMOR!" Sometimes it's discouraging because I think, will I ever return to what I once was? How long will this recuperation take? Will I ever be rested again? How will I return to my regular schedule when the Dr. releases me? I keep reminding myself that through my weakness He is strong! He promises to be there and protect me, to give me healing, to be my strength.

I think as humans, one of the hardest things to give to God and not take back is the control. We like to be in control of our lives, situations, etc. He wants us to totally depend on Him for everything. Paul tells us we must die to self daily. Well, I'm thinking sometimes it's by the hour, by the minute, every second of every day! A great reminder : Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." It is so hard to let go of the control completely. We say we do, but we seem to keep hanging on to a little corner of it, just in case "He can't handle it, we can help." He can do it all and He tells us that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." ~Philippians 4:13. And yet, we want to think we can do anything in our own strength.

Father,
You are my provider and my healer. You are everything that I need! I have said it before, but need a constant reminder, Take my life, take my will, take my body (eyes, hands, feet, brain, every part of me) and make it all yours. May your will be done in my life. You gave me a calling for teaching and music, God, mold me into what you would have me to be. May every part of my life glorify You! I thank You for what You are doing in my life, even though I don't understand. Forgive me for questioning You, for not understanding, for getting angry! I believe You are a God of miracles--You can heal my eyes if You choose!! If not, You have a better plan in store for me. You are in control! I am not! I am waiting for You God to tell me or show me Your plan for my life. I know Your timing is perfect! I am still excited to see what you have for me!

In Jesus' name--Lisa

The Little Things In Life

The little things in life? Are they really "just" little things? I have learned over the last few months, and even more in the last two weeks, that little things are big and of importance. There are things we do on a daily basis that we just take for granted; things like...

• our next breath.
• seeing the beauty in people and creation around us.
• singing or humming a song.
• feeling the wind against your face.
• seeing a smile move across some one's face.
• the ability to take a shower and wash your hair whenever you so choose.
• driving your car to the store and running in quickly.
• knowing and living like tomorrow will come.
• a shoulder of a friend.
• a tiny child's hand in yours.
• the comfort from a loved one.

I have come to realize that we move along in our lives, so fast paced, that we forget to stop and notice these little things that are so important. We spend our times running from one appointment to the next, gulping down a meal from a drive thru, and checking our email and messages in the car on our smart phones as we arrive at our next destination. We over commit to the point that we can't possibly cram in one more event. Then we stop and wonder why we are so tired and exhausted!

I am learning so many lessons through my journey. One is to just "Be still and know that I am God." I sometimes forget that God is in control and not me! Sometimes I just make a mess of His plan. I plan so much that I plan Him right out of everything. I have learned over the last two weeks that I am not guaranteed tomorrow. And that's OK! I'm not promised a number of years on this earth. I need to spend my days living urgently for Christ. I hope that I live my life in a way that Christ can touch lives through me. I want to live in a way that I may not have another day to share His love. I also want to live my life in gratitude to my savior, one for saving my soul, and two for using me to work His plan according to His purpose and not my own.

I find that I'm seeing the importance of just sitting in His presence and not running through it on my way to another commitment. I'm also learning that if it is His plan to see with one eye, then He has better plans for me! He is going to use this meningioma/vision trial for His glory. I am appreciating the things around me such as the sun, wind, rain, people, etc. I'm realizing these things are not so little in life.

Thank you, God for the rest you have provided for me and my family. Thank you for allowing me to stop and savor those things that may seem small in life, but are of great importance.

Powerful Words From God

1 Corinthians 2:9:
"However, as it is written: 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.'

A friend shared a word from God that was given to her the other morning:
"I am the Lord that healeth thee. You must rest so I can and while you rest I will show you great and mighty things. I will give you dreams and visions and when it is all said and done all shall know that I am the Lord your God." 3/8/11

I was given a new devotional book yesterday, by a friend from church. I began to look over the last couple of days, as I was journaling, reading, etc. I turned to March 3rd, the day of my surgery, and I had to call Ashley in to read the devotional for that day. Here were the words on March 3rd:

"Every day holds the possibility of a miracle."

"Nothing is impossible with God." ~Luke 1:37

How fitting for the day that I headed into surgery, not knowing what was facing me!!

Another friend sent me a devotional from the K-Love's encouraging word today, it said 1 John1:5 says, "This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in Him at all."

All are powerful words!! Thank you, God for using your servants, and for speaking through others to show us how You are at work in our lives!! So, we sit, waiting and resting in God. Waiting to see what it is that He has for us to do. We are willing servants, waiting and wanting to be used of Him, but in His timing, because we know that His timing is perfect.

I am returning for another amazing night of rest. Thank you for the prayers last night, because He came through once again! The sleep and rest was wonderful last night and today!

On the Other Side, but Still Rough Waters

Updates and thoughts over the last week:

We came home on Monday after an exhausting day of discharging, and eye doctor visit. Before being discharged, they removed my dressings, which was the first hard blow. They did not remove lots of hair (thank you Jesus!), but I have about 50 staples from temple to temple. That was a hard one to look at or take.

We left the hospital and drove straight to the eye Dr. After a visit with the eye specialist, Dr. Rozas is telling us that the blood supply to my left retina was stopped for too long of a time during surgery. It was not the surgery so to speak, but something pinched off my optic nerve. My retina should be orange, but is white, which shows permanent damage. I cannot see out of my left eye at all. It works well with my other eye as far as movement, but is non-reactive to light. This was another hard blow as we headed home on Monday. He said my right eye is very strong and I must protect it, as it is my only good eye now. He is watching me closely, because during the next 90 days, some hormone can try to grow vessels and fix my eye, because the blood flow is back. He said these are bad vessels and can hurt this eye or the other. It is a very small chance, and he can catch it quickly and fix it through laser or an injection.

It is amazing that God uses surgeons and doctors in amazing ways! I had an amazing team of doctors and nurses working with me. He blessed us so much by providing a surgeon who was very caring! He was with my family and I all through that first evening and night after surgery, running tests to check out my eye and make sure it wasn't something that would happen to the other eye, or to find out if he could correct what had taken place. Who would think 1 week following brain surgery, I'd be sitting here charting my courses??

I shared in an email with some of my school family that I have had a couple of days of pity parties, and trying to wrap myself around all of this!! I know that God is not finished with me yet. He allows us to go through things to grow us. I just finished my book Life Is Hard in the night last night (while unable to sleep). Here are a couple of insightful words I'm hanging onto (I requested some accountability, because giving up control is a hard one for me!!) 

• Embracing God's purposes means you confess and live the reality that God is not asleep at the wheel. He is not AWOL. He's not running late for work.
• HE IS IN CONTROL!
• HE ALLOWED THIS!
• I may wish it wasn't so, but He could have prevented this trial, and yet He didn't!
• So the question is, "Again, Lord, What are you teaching me (us) through this?
• 2 Corinthians 12:10: "For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses." The NIV says, "I delight in weaknesses."
• Jesus, Himself, modeled this kind of victory in the garden when He prayed, "Your will be done." Not my will, God but Your will. That's the essence of submission, and that's where the victory begins.

My prayer of commitment:

Lord, I'm staying right here. I'm not looking for a way out. I'm remaining right here under the pressure. And I yield. As best as I know how, God, I'm not fighting You. I'm not angry with You. I'm confused sometimes. I'm perplexed. I'm sad, but I'm not angry. I trust You. I want to tell You, Lord I'm not going to quit. By Your grace and in Your strength, I am not going to quit. I am going to keep doing the things You've CALLED me to do. I'm going to keep believing the things I've always believed. I desire to get closer and deeper with You. I am embracing this trial. I'm treasuring these things you have taught me and I'm committing to You once again here and now, God. In Your sufficient grace I'm going forward. Turn these trials to gold in my life. I'm waiting to see it. My hope is in You. And I can wait!

In Jesus' name for His glory, Amen

I began James McDonald's second book today, Always True [God's 5 promises when life is hard], Jeremiah 32:27 says, "I am the Lord...Is anything too hard for me?" That would take me back a little. Oh me of little faith!!! McDonald says, "Sometimes in life, we look at our need or the overwhelming circumstances and we feel beaten before we start. But God asks, 'What exactly is that you think I can't handle?" A good one, huh? Why do we doubt Him. I just sang Kari Jobe's Healer a week ago, and the bridge says, "Nothing is impossible for You, Nothing is impossible! Nothing is impossible for You, You hold my world in Your hands."

Good night and say a prayer for sleep tonight! It comes off and on!! My brain needs sleep to bring complete healing!!

Your life is NOT about you!

   Your life involves you but is

      not ultimately about you.    

~Priscilla Shirer

Pretty powerful words, considering we live in a world that promotes independence! The more we can do on our own the better we become, the more successful we are, etc. However, in God's Word, He wants us to depend on Him. We come to a place in our life where we aren't as strong when we stand on our own. We need Him to be our strength.

When I think of this statement, my thoughts automatically go to worship. I am so happy to be able to be a part of our praise team at our church. It is wonderful to worship with others who truely understand what worship is about. It is more than just singing beautiful songs. It is about lifting His name on high, it is praising him through scripture reading, testimony, prayer, singing, instrumental music, etc. When the focus becomes ourselves, that is when we get into trouble. I remember years ago a friend of mine said that we have to be in the mind set, that if the electricity fails, we will continue to worship God; and if the microphones quit, we continue to lift His name. Worship is about God, it is not about us! It is not about performing or entertaining. The Heart of Worship: "When the music fades, and all is stripped away, and I simply come..."

Leading worship is about helping others find their way to the feet of Jesus, in order to lay their cares and burdens at his feet. It is about us freely lifting our voices, our praise, and our cries to Him.

Worship may involve us, but it is not about us...it is about Him!

Lisa

My Best Friend!

Thank you, God for blessing me with a husband who supports me in my endeavors and encourages me, stands beside me through thick and thin, and more than anything loves me for who I am!!


A few moments together (click on collage to see it bigger):




 

Friends and Learning in The Big Apple

One of my favorite places to go is NYC! So many cultures in one spot. Ronny, Ashley, and I spent a week and a few days in Philadelphia (most of the time there), and in NYC. We had so much fun exploring this city.


As a teacher, I have been able to attend Teacher's College Reading and Writing Project at Columbia University. The learning is amazing!! Lots of work to keep us busy, even homework! However, we do have time at night to explore some of the sights of the city. Some ladies, I teach with, and I, were able to do this last February. It was amazing trekking through the snow and cold to explore the College and the City! I have attached a collage of our trip.


I'm looking forward to heading back there in a couple of weeks. I'm excited to see what type of learning and exploring is in store for this year!! I think common core standards along with reading and writing in the content area. I know to most this doesn't sound interesting, however, to teachers, we thrive on new learning!


As far as exploring the city at night, we are seeing Spiderman on Broadway (hopefully no accidents!) and possibly Jon Bon Jovi at Madison Square Garden (that's for my friend April!), and sight seeing from the top of the Empire State Building (a beautiful night view). Let's not forget amazing food from Little Italy, and need we leave out NYC Cheesecake!! I need to enjoy the food of the Big Apple, because six days upon returning is my surgery--either no appetite, no food, or hospital food!!

I "heart" NY

Who is in control?

"Be Still and know that I am God..."  ~Psalm 46:10

What does this mean? To be "still? the word still comes from a Hebrew word meaning to “let go” or “release" or "to be come weak." We have to come to a point where we realize that we are not in control of our lives. We do not have the strength or capabilities to do everything on our own! It is through His strength that we can move mountains in our lives. We need to step back and realize that He is God! We need to let go of the things we hang on to, and let Him have them!

On days like today, in fact in weeks such as this, when we have been forced to stay in our homes, off of the streets, and to sit and relax, I realize He is in control He is saying, slow down, spend time with your family, and do not worry about what tomorrow holds, because I am God!

I have found myself worrying about my students being ready for the end of the year test. I have been counting down the days that I have to get them ready, and it seems like God has other plans. My days, keep getting cut short. My plans keep getting knocked down. I get frustrated and don't understand. Then perspective comes in again. Maybe his plan is to slow me down, work on my blood pressure, to give me time with my family, to show me that He is in control.
Thank you God, for the time you have give us to catch our breaths, focus on You, focus on one another, and just rest.

"Be Still and know that I am God..."  ~Psalm 46:10

MY PRAYER QUILT

"The Lord sees the good people and listens to their prayers."  ~ 1 Peter 3:12

I think we forget sometimes that the power of prayers is an amazing thing! Why do we pray? We pray to offer our praise, thanksgiving, and worship; to ask for guidance, strength, and wisdom; and to lay our burdens, worries, and struggles at His feet. Prayer is communication with our Father!! He wants to hear from us continuously. First Thessalonians 5:17-18 tells us to "pray continually...for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." The more time we spend in prayer, the closer we grow to our Father.

Have you ever been in a place where you felt so weak that you couldn't pray? That is when that intercessory prayer comes in to play. When others jump in and lift you up to our Heavenly Father. I saw a posting from a childhood friend and her mother today. She has been lifted up in prayer over the last couple of months because of her diagnosis of colon cancer. She has been through tests, etc. and they have been waiting for results. Today, the scan came back and showed that there was no cancer. It was once there, and she was to the point of seeing the surgeon and oncologist. Now, there is NO CANCER! Only our God is that big. He is bigger than cancer.

As we have been struggling with some of the same testing and waiting for results over the last few months, there have been times, when all I could do was cry. It was the prayers of others that gave me strength to cry out to my God!! It was through those intercessory prayers from family, church family, friends, and people I don't even know from across this country that have brought strength to my family, and also brought reports of NO CANCER!!

I wanted to share pictures of a prayer quilt that was given to me by the Bayside Community Church in Clearwater, FL. I was dedicated in this church as a baby, many years ago (about 42 to be exact). Some of the people that attended at that time still go to this church; however, it used to run around 70-100 people and now there are approximately 1500 (not sure exactly) that attend this church. Ladies at their church have a tremendous ministry of making quilts for people, then having threads that are untied. They send it through Sunday School Classes, and place in their Foyer for people to pray, then tie. I was so excited when my parents brought this to me. This quilt will follow me to the hospital and I will be covered in many prayers-some from those I know very well, and some from those I have never met. I have posted the pictures below. They asked my parents if I had any interests, and they said music. They chose to use music material on the back, and scriptures from the Psalms on the front. It is beautiful!

A big thank you to my family, friends, my CrossPointe family, King School family, and Bayside Community. Your prayers have been heard and felt!

This is the front of the quilt. Notice all of the threads that have
been tied. Many have multiple knots!! Lots of prayers!

A closer look of one of the Psalms used in the quilt.



 The back side of the quilt is musical scores.





THE FIRE WITHIN

"Jesus began to explain everything that had been written about himself in the Scriptures." ~Luke 24:27

"When [the disciples] saw who He was, He disappeared. They said to each other, 'It felt like a fire burning in us when Jesus talked to us on the road and explained the Scriptures to us.'" ~Luke 24:31-32

A fire is very fitting for a cold, icy day such as this. If we aren't careful, we can get cabin fever and become depressed and gloomy. Take this day as a gift, from our Father. He watches us running to and fro, trying to meet deadlines, trying to please others, serving, working, doing, etc. and I believe He wants us to just sit down, and rest in Him!! He has given us this time to stop, rest and enjoy our families. Maybe he will use this time to light a fire in you!

Taken from Grace for the Moment by Max Lucado:
Isn't it amazing, that they knew they had been with Jesus because they felt a fire within. God reveals Himself to us by setting a torch to our souls. He gave Jeremiah a FIRE for hard hearts. He gave Nehemiah a FIRE for a forgotten city. He set Abraham on FIRE for a land he'd never seen. He set Isaiah on FIRE with a vision he couldn't resist. Forty years of fruitless preaching didn't extinguish the FIRE of Noah...

Mark it down: Jesus comes to set you on FIRE! He walks as a torch from heart to heart, warming the cold and thawing the chilled and stirring the ashes...He comes to purge infection and illuminate your direction.

Isn't that great!! Let Him light a fire in you today! How is He leading you? What is His plan for your life? Seek Him out today. I pray that God will use each and everyone of us in a mighty way to touch lives: our families, friends, students, community! Revive us, Live in us, and Use us!

Lisa

Life Perspective

Today has made me step back and look at my life. God has so richly blessed me with a wonderful family. In the last month, I know of at least 7 children who have lost parents. Two former students lost their mother (and had lost their dad years ago). Another incident: four boys lost their dad yesterday, then less than 24 hours later, lost their mother this morning. I know of yet another who lost their mother today. All of these adults who lost their lives are under the age of 40ish.


I realize that we are not guaranteed another day, or minute on this earth. So I have to sit, think, and ask: Am I making the most of everything I do? Is my relationship with God the best that it can be? Is my relationship with my family and friends as it should be? Am I living my life like I have the next 40 years, or am I living as though I don't have much time left?


This is a time for reflection. What can I do better? I can love more, forgive more, and do everything possible to share the love of Jesus Christ with everyone I meet!! I must look at what is important and eternal and concentrate on those things. I can make sure that not a day goes by without letting my family know how important they are to me and how much I love them! I can make sure that my friends know that I love and care about them. I can also make sure I'm spending time in conversation with my Heavenly Father.


So the question goes out to you: Are you living as though you have a lifetime, or are you living as though today were your last day? What can you do better?


1 Chronicles 29:15 says, "Our days on earth are like a shadow."


Father:
I choose to live my life in a way that glorifies You! I don't have much time here to make a difference. Help me as a wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, and teacher that I do everything I can to make a difference! Sometimes the busyness of life distracts me and keeps me from seeing what is most important. I pray that I don't miss an opportunity sitting in front of my face to show love because I'm so worried about meeting a deadline or assignment. Today I begin to look at my life in a new way. As important as learning is, I pray that I don't miss the chance to show love to my students and meet the needs that they might be experiencing. Help me to see the needs of others, and realize that as I help and serve others, I'm also serving You. I pray that I don't get too busy to stop to tell my family & friends I love them and appreciate all that they are to me!! Most importantly, I pray that my relationship with You continues to grow and become stronger, not stagnate. I want my life to be ever pleasing to You! Be my guide as I put life into perspective!


Lisa

I have heard of so many people, just this week, with flu, and other severe illnesses requiring hospitalization, ICU, etc. I thought this song was fitting!

Healer

by Kari Jobe

Click on link for video:

(go to the very bottom of this page

 & pause the piano music so that you can

hear the video)



You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You

HE is our healer, HE is the great physician!!

Lisa

I CHOOSE...(continued)

This excerpt from Max Lucado's books is continued from yesterday. Read yesterday's blog for the beginning. It is a way to look at the Fruit of the Spirit in a new way. It's all about choices. What choice will you make today?

I CHOOSE KINDNESS...

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone.

Kind to the rich, for they are afraid, and kind to

the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I CHOOSE GOODNESS...

I will go without a dollar

before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked

before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse.

I choose goodness.

I CHOOSE FAITHFULNESS...

Today I will keep my promises.

My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates

will not question my word. My wife/husband will not

question my love. And my children will never fear

that their father/mother will not come home.

I CHOOSE GENTLENESS...

Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle.

If I raise my voice may it be only in praise.

If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer.

If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

I CHOOSE SELF-CONTROL...

I am a spiritual being...

After this body is dead, my spirit will soar.

I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal.

I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy.

I will be impassioned only by my faith.

I will be influenced only by God.

I will be taught only by Christ

I choose self-control.

Love, joy peace, patience,kindness, goodness,

faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

To these I commit my day.

If I succeed, I will give thanks.

If I fail, I will seek His grace.

And then, when this day is done,

I will place my head on my pillow

and rest.

__________________

Max Lucado

When God Whispers Your Name

I CHOOSE...

Our days are different. Some of us are morning people, some are not. Some of us hit the floor running and never stop til evening. Some of us take in the activities and rest of each day. Sometimes our days are filled with the hustle and bustle around us and the busyness of life. We have deadlines to meet, errands to run, and decisions to make. We will be faced with many demands.

From Max Lucado's When God Whispers Your Name:
(I love this outlook on the Fruit of the Spirit)

It is now that I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose. And so I choose.

I CHOOSE LOVE...

No occasion justifies hatred;

no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love.

Today I will love God and what God loves.

I CHOOSE JOY...

I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance.

I will refuse the temptation to be cynical..

the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see

people as anything less than human beings,

created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as

anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I CHOOSE PEACE...

I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I CHOOSE PATIENCE...

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.

Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll

invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the

wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment

to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new

assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

to be continued...

DO YOU RECOGNIZE THE VOICE?

I can be in a crowded room, at church, in the mall, etc. and when I hear that voice say, "Mama!" I know who it belongs to; I turn and there is Ashley waiting for my reply. I can be walking through a store and hear someone speaking an dknwo that voice belongs to my husband, Ronny; even if he's aisles away.


We know so much about those we are closest to; their favoice color, favorite food, tv show, etc. How well do you know those clsest to you? Do you recognize their voices?


God knows you like that! He created you in His image and knows you like none other. He recognizes your voice. Psalm 139 tells how much He truly knows us:

You have searched me, Lord, and you KNOW me.

You KNOW when I sit an dwhen I rise;

youperceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue,

you, Lord, KNOW it completely.

You hem me in behind and before,

and you lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too lofty for me to attain.

Read the rest of Psalm 139. He knows you oh so well! He created you! You are not an accident! he watched you as you were being formed. How amazing is His love for us; and yet I have to ask: do you regonize His voice? His presence?

The way we grow to know someone so intimately is by spending time with them, having constant converstaions, learning about one another, studying, etc. That's what He wants of us--to talk with Him to study His word, to learn more about Him to talk with other about Him and share what He is doing in our lives.

If you don't know Him, all you have to do is clal on Him. Romans 10:13 says, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." Don't wait! Seek Him - "Get to know God. When you do, you will never be the same" (The Christian Athiest, by Craig Groeschell).

Lisa

Teachable or Not?

Today, I missed doing what I love to do, what I am passionate about, what I am called to do -- Teach. As I sat at home, with a headache & stomach ache, I began to think about teaching, trials, and tribulations. I have always truly believed that we are all life-long learners. We never fully arrive. I try to instill in my students and model for my students life-long learning. We talk about mistakes are always opportunities to grow and learn. As I have been going through some trials, I have also shared with them that Mrs. Mayfield never stops learning. What's equally as important is teaching them the love of learning.

Reality is that many people do not have a willingness to learn. Alongside learning is humility. It takes humility for someone to admit they do not understand or know something. "A teachable spirit requires humility--the ability to acknowledge that there is a great deal you can learn from other people--and from God" (taken from Checklist for Life for Teachers). How teachable are you? Your children, your students, your friends, etc. may end up being the best teachers you ever had!

God is continually teaching me to listen and learn. This was so evident as I began looking through my emails. I had two different devotions this morning from two different sources, along with a former student (thanks Emily) posting on facebook--all the same scripture: John 16:33 "I have told you all this so that you will have peace of heart and mind. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows; but cheer up, for I have overcome the world."

Father: Your promises of peace are amazing! Thank you for giving me a teachable spirit. Help me to always be listening and learning. Thank you for placing wonderful people in my life who teach me: family, friends, co-workers, and students. Thank you for allowing me to further my education and grow as a teacher. Thank you for entrusting your children with whom I can teach teach and model a love of learning; but most of all thank you for letting me learn from them!

Lisa

Tranquility Amid Turmoil: Our Testimony

In the last year, life has taken some sharp turns for our family. We lost my mother-in-law, Bonnie, a wonderful lady: mother, granny, and friend! We have been trying to settle things with her home place, etc. Next, my dad became very ill and was hospitalized and gave us all quite a scare. After a busy summer, my sister-in-law and family moved in with us and has been going through her own set of turmoils. We love and care for her dearly, but hate to see the hurt that she and her family are going through.


If all of that is not enough, along with trying to keep up with the everyday life of being a wife, a mom, a teacher, and a pastor's wife, I began testing in October/November for pain in my joints and muscles. I'm being treated for fibromyalgia, but in the process was being checked for MS. An MRI was performed, and while MS was not present, a meningioma (brain tumor) in the frontal lobe of my brain was present. We then began testing for cancer. Praise God -- NO CANCER!


He heard our cries and answered our prayers. Again, although we may not understand what He is trying to teach us, His plan is perfect. This meningioma (benign brain tumor), has edema (swelling), and must be removed. For someone who has never had a major surgery, broken bone, or any severe illnesses...well, let's just say, this has taken me back a little. A neurosurgeon from Little Rock will be removing the tumor on March 3rd.


God has been good though! If there is a "good" brain tumor to be had, I have it--as it is in the easiest, most safe place to be. Recovery should be fairly simple: REST! I have had no symptoms yet, and he expects no complications.


Life has been placed into perspective. For the person who runs and does all the time, God sees fit for me to sit down, be still, and rest. To say I'm not scared would be an understatement. I am very scared; however, we are placing this in His hands, and believing in His power and strength. He can choose to remove the tumor and heal me even before surgery! One prayer has already been answered -- and MRI will be performed the morning of surgery. We had been told that no other MRIs would be performed.


Ronny, Ashley, and I, along with a host of friends and family, are just waiting to celebrate in whatever God chooses to do in this situation. We will either go home with no tumor, or I will use this turmoil to witness to others.


Tranquility Amid Turmoil: "Jesus said, Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."    ~John 14:27


As we have been faced with some difficult storms in our lives over these last few months, we are learning that we are not in control, but God is the one in the driver's seat. He did not give this to me, but is allowing this storm in our life for this season. He is teaching us some lessons about faith, trust, dependence on Him, and rest. We do have a peace while going through this time in our life!! I don't know how people without Christ and Christian family & friends survive these storms! Join with us in prayer!!


God is Good, all the time --- All the time, God is Good!

    "Serenity is not freedom from the storm,
      but peace amid the storm."  ~Oscar Wilde

WELCOME!!

Welcome to my first blog! I have wanted to do this for awhile, but kept putting it off. So here goes!! I chose the name "A Heart Wide Open" because that is who I am as an individual, a wife, a mom, a teacher, a pastor's wife, family member, and friend. I hope that my life is an open book to all!


Over the last few months of my life, things have really been put into perspective. I have always thought of myself as a doer: someone who has to be on the run, doing things, serving others, and requiring little rest. God sees things that we do not!! While I live my life with God in the pilot's seat, sometimes it is hard to give over that complete control. I am learning that through trials and turmoils, God is teaching me to slow down, get life into perspective, get my priorities in line, and to "be still and know that I AM GOD." (Psalm 46:10). He is also teaching me that His timing is perfect, and that I cannot survive on my own strength but through His strength. I'm learning that we are not promised another minute on this Earth, but I do have the promises from my Heavenly Father that He will never leave me nor forsake me! It is amazing how we make plans, even far into the future, we spend time searching and planning out everything, and yet many times His plan is nothing like what we have in mind. One of my favorite scriptures is Jeremiah 29:11 - 13:  "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." It's scary to turn over everything and to not be in control; however, He sees all and knows all, and is working everything to our good (when we love Him).


Stay tuned...the story of Tranquility amid Turmoil to follow: Our testimony of God's work in our lives!


God is Good, All the Time ~ All the Time, God is Good!