"I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting whta is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I presss on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 3:13-14NIV
When I think of the word perseverance, I think of determination and faithfulness, not giving up, keep on keeping on. As I think on the events of the past year, there have been times I wanted to give up, stop, and look back. There have been times I felt I could not keep moving or going. God blessed me with a wonderful husband, daughter, and family who kept encouraging me and holding me up when I felt I couldn't stand another minute. He has also blessed me with an amazing church and school family and a host of friends who also held me up in prayers; who continually pray for my strength.
This last year has been much like a marathon. There have been times when the race seemed easy, that I could make it to the finish line, but then other times it was as if they end was never in sight. Everyone was on the sidelines, in just the right places at just the right times, to cheer me on and help me persevere. At one low point, someone told me to go out 1 week on my calendar and write: "How are you feeling today?" then to repeat it for 30 days, 6 months, then a year. I can tell you that 1 year later, although not completely back to strength, it is amazing how God has restored me to health and given me the strength I need at the right time. Many times this year, Ronny has reminded me how rough it was in the beginning. He has kept photos on his phone as a reminder. When I get down, he shows me where I was and how far I have come over the last year. I debated on whether to show where I have come from, and decided that as it has been encouragement to me, it might be to you as well.
Approximately 18 hours following my 6.5 hour brain surgery. The swollen eye is the eye in which I lost vision. At this time, I am blind in this eye. God has a plan. I keep praying for restoration of my sight. I have faith that if God so chooses, He can restore my vision.
Mama and I two days after my surgery. The longer time passed, the worse my swelling and color got!! Not a pretty sight. Under the bandages, I had 50 staples. Yes, they shaved a swath of hair about 1/2" wide (right in the middle of my forhead). For the most part, it has all grown back; however there are spots that have not because of scar tissue. This reminds me of a song that I have sung before: "Heal the wounds but leave the scars. A reminder of how merciful you are."
PITY PARTIES
I admit, I have had my share of pity parties this last year. Ronny, Ashley, and I have experienced many rough days, but more blessed days!! We have had some losses over the last year. We have lost friends and loved ones who were too young to go. We have experienced many rough times through schooling, ministry, family, friends, and the list goes on. However, God reminds us that "He works ALL things together for the good of those who love Him..." There have been times when it felt like God was far away (which we know wasn't true), it was in this time of hurting and pity parties, He was right beside us the entire time, waiting for us to cry out to Him, to trust Him, and believe in Him. In Laura Story's song blessings, it says: "what if my greatest disappointments, or aching of this life, is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy. What if trials of this life, the rain,the storms, the hardest nights, are Your mercies in disguise?" I am still learning to lean on Him to help us through the storms, to see the blessings and mercy He has bestowed up on us.
Exactly 1 year later! I celebrated tonight by going to see Mandisa and Laura Story with friends from church and school. Not a great picture, but you get the point. One year has made a difference.
"Hold on just a little bit longer, He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger." ~MandisaPLANS
"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen.When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." ~Jeremiah 29:11-13 The Message
How encouraging is it to know that He has it all planned out. It's more than just planning it out, but He has a plan to care for me and not leave me. He even promises that He will listen to me when I call out to Him, and if I will take the steps to look for Him, I WILL find Him. Sometimes knowing God's plan is hard. We must be seeking Him with all of our heart, mind, and soul! We can't seek Him half heartedly, we must give our all to Him. This is so hard sometimes, because we want to hold on to parts of our life! We have to surrender completely. The closer our relationship to Him, the easier it will be to see His will for our lives. I pray daily that I will be in His complete will in all I do. He is my guide!! I have to make sure Lisa doesn't get in the way (which all too often happens!).
So where do we go from here? We keep running the race, pressing on to the prize that He has for us. Persevering, not giving up, especially when we get hung up in our pity parties, and remember that He has a plan for our lives. I am still growing in my faith and He's continually teaching me! Thanks for your prayers and encouragement. God has truly blessed us!
~Lisa
